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My birthday

June 15, 2009

Yesterday was my 28th birthday.  Supposedly that means I’m getting older, but I feel more as if I’m in a state of constancy rather than progression, as if I’m not really getting older from day to day, but rather maintaining a state of balance that keeps me suspended above the aging process.

I just posted a note on my Facebook profile that claims “living life in slow motion instead of fast forward reduces signs of aging.”  I’ve spent a good portion of the past year in slow motion and on pause, taking time to reflect on and enjoy the passing moments rather than plan my future moments.  Doing so has left me in a state of deep peace with my life and my surroundings, and I feel as if I’ve reached the plateau I’d like to stand on for my future years.  I am living the life I’ve always wanted to live – simple, but with purpose and pleasure – and that I always want to live, such that my ambition in life is not to move on to bigger and better things but to maintain the inner-outer balance I’ve struck.

I’ve been in Montana for a year, and many folks have been asking me what I plan to do now.  I plan to stay here doing what I’m doing and see where it leads me.  It feels relieving not to worry about the future, about my career trajectory, about marriage, about money.  I am happy in the here and now, and as long as I continue to live in balance, what happens in my life will be good and right no matter how it plays out.  I will continue to learn from the downfalls and to soar on the successes and joys, and will continue to feel peace knowing that I’ve achieved several of life’s ultimate goals:  acceptance, appreciation, and happiness.

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